YOUR WORDSMITH PRESIDENT

I think it's wise to make promises that you have the ABILITY to keep. I hate to keep pointing out that Obama is winging it, but he is. His spending bill masked as a STIMULUS bill has done, sphincter says, WHAT?...

SEPARATING THE MEN FROM THE GIRLS

Obama in his camel-toe MOM jeans, throws like a girl...

President Bush throws a strike right after 9/11, like a man...

BUMMER OF A BIRTHMARK BABE

Some people are all about their own careers and when they get a little bit of spotlight, they go crazy like a self-indulgent deer staring into headlights. Um yea, I am standing in the middle of the road, what's it to ya? You want me to move? I can't the lights are so pretty and I must be in them, staring hypnotizingly drunk by their focus on me. They begin to think they are all important and God's gift to us all. The attention is intoxicating, even the negative attention. Please no spin on this chagrin, this mama is is no elephant savior. Be prepared for me to say it...I TOLD YA SO. I am sorry but Sarah Palin is starting to creep me out. Run your state already if you are all that and a bag of friggin' chips. And lefties, save your Palin sucks comments. Until you start admitting that your dudes are also a bunch of fat heads, shut it. Sarah Palin wants to stump for REPUGS and DEMOTARDS! Nice. Have fun with that one.

DRUDGE HEADLINER: A SECOND STIMULUS PACKAGE?

LET ME BE PETTY and KILL THE PEACE SIGN

Can I just vent right here and right now!? I am so friggin' sick and tired of hearing about Michelle Obama's freaking arms! They are not awesome. They are not even fabulous. Nobody's arms are worth talking about EVER. Seriously, who walks around going, "WOW! Nice arms, lady", "You should wear tanks and sleeveless dresses everywhere you go, especially when in Russia". I don't want to see a woman's ripped arms EVER. I don't want to see a woman's flabby arms. I don't want to see a woman's pits, and trust me when you raise your arm in a sleeveless dress, your pits show. Pits with or without hair, are gross. I am not trying to tell women to stay away from the tanks in the heat or at all. I am trying to tell our first lady, that I am trying to like and don't, to get over her J. Crew fetish and start to shop at The Gap. Why is it the Obama girls have to constantly parade around like Little Lord Fauntleroy's straight from a trendy catalog page? It's time to stop trying to be glamor girls and mix in a sleeve once in a while. It's bad enough that I have to stand in the grocery check out line and stare at all the magazines with Michelle's mug on the cover. What do I do about it? I turn them all around so I don't throw up a little in my mouth, over and over again. I turn them all around like a woman with severe OCD. Sometimes I put a different magazine in front of Michelle's massively over marketed face, like Popular Mechanics or something. Its not that I am a hater, oops, I am, but only because its overkill and I think its OK to kick a little pettiness to Michelle since its so unpopular to do. I like bucking the norm and she gets the needle today. Michelle is not my fave. Her little organic garden gig is so Mary, Mary quite contrary. Who cares about her freaking green thumb. I would rather she just sat on her ass all day and ate bon-bons in front of the TV. That is a woman to admire. If she were to do a blog about all the soaps she follows, count me in, I'm a fan. But while she is doing this wholesome mom routine, its later home skillet with the biceps of an army captain. Go pick some weeds and do some curls so we can admire your right to bare arms and home grown veggie pile. Swell. Just kickin' it rude school. It's petty I know, I take full responsibility for my issues.

KILL THE PEACE SIGN
Malia Obama was sporting the latest American trend in fashion, the peace sign. I have seen the kids around wearing T-shirts, necklaces and hats with this historical, on again, off again symbol of nothing. Some think it stands for peace and that is just fine. But to me it stands for "I AM A DUMB-ASS". So the fact that Malia is making a political statement while pouncing around Europe, is not so fine with me. Even when there are no wars and no nuclear bare Michelle Obama arms races, there is no peace. The Obama Presidency should not try to symbolize to the world that America is now because of him, for peace. All people want peace. But some people realize that peace is only attained with freedom. At times, that requires fighting and war. Freedom will not be had without world powers taking a stand. So when there is an absence of war, is there peace? Are the people of Iran at peace? Are the people in China at peace? Are the women in Afghanistan at peace? Are the people of Darfur at peace? Are the people of Haiti at peace? Are they oppressed and murdered by their own governments? Yes. Is this peace? NO! Freedom sometimes has to be won with fighting. There is no peace, even when there is no war, as long as there is oppression and genocide going on in the world. So take off your peace signs. The thing that you profess is unattainable with your pacifist and ignorant ideals. You fight for nothing and ensure the chains of bondage for many. Your sign is a symbol of oppression, not liberation. It's not something a daughter of an American President should be wearing. And we wonder why the world hates us when we prance around with freedom at our fingertips, while others choke. It's disgraceful and a lie and I don't want to see it. Imagine there no communists. Imagine there no liberals...

AND FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT...

THE WRONG WAY GENIUS...Let me just make the donkey comments so they don't have to...Polls don't matter. They don't mean anything. OK, Fine. Let me just regurgitate the many, many comments about how they DO, when they are in your favor. Remember dems, and this should keep you shaking in your boots, the more the polls go down, the more people change their minds about the unicorn and follow suit. Sheep can't be left behind, they must follow public opinion. Or does Obama really suck at being President? It's what keeps you up at night isn't it? It's what helps me sleep.

NO SARAH PALIN IN 2012

I am not a staunch defender of Sarah Palin and while I think the media, democrats and old and not funny comedians are deranged in their obsession with her (not to mention downright disgusting), I don't think she is the great "pure" conservative hope of the republican party. Not only do I not buy into that load of puritanical hooey, but she is not savvy enough to deal with an evil impish empire called the media. That is not to say she won't be in the future, but for now, not so much. Let me just inject here for some of you to save your petty women hate women comments. You can bring them up when I support Mitt Romney strictly for his manly hotness, the same reason so many men worship a gun packing female with flirty style. Its not a bad thing. I am all for voting for someone based on their being total eye candy. I strongly endorse all candidates that send my "whoa baby" Richter scale to maximum shaking and earth moving beneath my feet. It's not something to be ashamed of, it's something to celebrate and I encourage such ideology on a regular basis. If JFK Jr. aka John-John were alive today and running for President, he would have my vote based strictly on my happy retina and jumping hormones when gazing upon his beautiful self. I speak the truth here, try doing the same people. John John is a democrat, hmmmm, oh well, sign me up for 4 years of happy eyeballs and tingling toes. Its all about priorities and what is right for this country...and hotness rules in the end.
Many republicans are starved for someone who possesses what they deem as "pure" conservative values in a possible up and coming leader of the GOP. Not me. I like Mitt and that is pretty much it. He's hot. He's smart. And he knows how to balance a budget and fix the economy. He understands that terrorists are evil and he's my man.
Sarah will never be a viable candidate for the Presidency. So sorry, but she will never get any cross-over vote. Unfortunately she is too tarnished by the media and the "cool" police and there is a large population of democrats that vote with the "in" crowd. They are what I call MTV democrats. They think that Johnny Depp and Sean Penn are smart when they are really dumb as rocks. They are the Obamakins who eat, drink and sleep what the media sells, and it isn't the facts jack, but like sponges they soak it all in. It wouldn't be cool enough to vote for Palin based on some uber-cool Dave Letterman opinion that she is a moron. So count out the MTV democrat sheep who don't see their own mentally retarded leaders (hello Joe Biden) and see Sarah as dumber than their number 2 drunk bastard. Its all scientifically bizarre. But that is the way it is with generation Y am I a democrat again? Oh yea, cuz Madonna and Rosie are.
Sarah has as of late, cooked her own goose. I really have no idea why she has decided to take a menopausal break from governing, when she has a significant amount of time left to prove herself even more viable than the two unicorns running our current administration. She chose to step down. I can only speculate about the reasons, but unfortunately, it speaks volumes to her ability to handle pressure and high ranking responsibility. Every political leader is a lame duck at some point, and must continue with dignity and prowess. She decides to quit and leaves many scratching their heads and wondering, what the hell just happened? I don't wonder and I don't care. I do say Sarah Palin will regret this decision if she chooses to run in 2012. I thought she was a good pick by McCain initially and had confidence she was up to the challenge of 2nd in command. This decision to step down early speaks to the contrary. I believe in keeping commitments and completing jobs we signed up and promised to do. The people of Alaska deserve more than a governor that bails, for whatever reason. The reason doesn't really matter in my mind. She quit and that speaks volumes. Mitt Romney all the way in 2012, as it should have been in 2008. Stop swooning over a woman who just quit her current elected post. What were her campaign promises and are the people of Alaska short changed? Of course they are and were I an Alaskan, I would feel ripped. Quitting is nothing to get giddy over, as some are. I guess she at least didn't shimmy off to Argentina unannounced. I will give her that. But in 2012, she will get no chubbed out chad from me.